Thursday, October 28, 2010

LUTHER THE GEEK REVIEW

I’m really doing a great job of keeping up with this blog. I started The Black Maria two weeks ago and here we are for post #2. WOOHOO!


def geek Slang . –noun

1. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)

2. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.

3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.


The 3rd one is the one we got going for us with this one.


While browsing Netflix Instant Watch, I stumbled upon the cult (what does this really mean?) serial killer movie LUTHER THE GEEK (written & directed by Carlton J. Albright).

Why did I watch this?

I’m not sure what drew my attention to this movie. It was either the part of the description that mentions an alcoholic carnie who bites the heads off of chickens or the part where The Freak stalks his victims with metallic dentures and clucks like I chicken. Who’s to say?

What is the brief synopsis?

Luther the Boy (simply credited as The Freak) bears witnesses to a calamitous event where a bunch of rowdy carnies make some dude, who for some reason is in a cage, bite the head off of a chicken. Apparently it has some sort of long lasting effect on the boy because as an adult he ends up in a prison/mental institution. The probation board then makes what I would consider at the very least a questionable judgment call and lets Luther out on parole. I mean, for Christ’s sake, the dude thinks he’s a chicken. Sure enough upon his release he instantly murders an old lady by ripping her throat out with his metal teeth. Why does he have metal teeth you ask? For throat ripping, obviously. All chickens have throat ripping teeth. Where did he get such a device? It’s not explained, but I would guess the throat ripping/chicken costume depot. Duh! Anyway, after he murders the old lady, he hides out in some woman’s barn. He then torments her and her family for about 60 minutes of the movie until it reaches its climax. The end. There’s really not much else to it.

Did I like this film and why or why not?

I actually did like it, which I credit almost entirely to the performance of Edward Terry as Luther.


What else has Edward Terry been in? Pretty much nothing, which I guess is a shame. Perhaps he’s a bad actor. I don’t know. Whatever the case is, Albright does a fantastic job of directing him. Luther doesn’t say much in the movie (I actually don’t recall him saying anything), which really creates an aura of mystery behind the motivation of his actions. On top of that, I don’t think there WAS any motivation beyond his desire to rip throats with his mouth. That simple, dark desire for violence is what makes him truly terrifying. He’s much like Michael Myers in that regard.

As mentioned before, Luther thinks he’s a chicken. It sounds completely retarded. Asking an actor to mimic the characterizations of any animal, especially one as silly and awkward as a chicken, has major potential to land with a thud on the side of laughable, but Terry somehow manages to pull it off. He makes just the right inhuman head movements and gives all the right unsettling looks to really sell this guy as a true force of terror. He even clucks and somehow it works. Frankly, it’s downright disturbing.


What are the bad parts?

The bad parts are the illogical decisions some of the characters make, starting with the parole board letting this wackadoo out of jail after a debate of about 7 seconds and ending with a police deputy entering a dark (and apparently mansion sized) barn knowing that Luther is in there waiting for him.

What is the best kill and/or scariest moment?

The scariest part to me was when Luther first reveals his presence to the woman. There’s no build up to it at all. Just a simple wide shot of him running full speed from the barn to the house as she tries to lock the door in a panic. It was one of those shots that felt way too real for one’s liking.

As for best kill, there’s a lot of throat dismissal, so that’s cool, but the best kill would actually be when Luther grabs the woman’s daughter and throws her to the ground next to her boyfriend, who unbeknownst to her has been gutted and has his still beating heart dangling OUTSIDE OF HIS CHEST! Hell yeah.


Take that douchebag boyfriend named Rob. Your heart is stupid.

Year of Release: 1990

Run Time: 80 minutes

Matt’s Rating: 3 out of 4

Friday, October 15, 2010

AMC PUTS UNRATED HORROR MOVIE IN THEATERS, IS AWESOME...AMC PULLS UNRATED HORROR MOVIE FROM THEATERS, SUCKS BIGGUNS


AMC: Sup, brah. You looked bummed?

HATCHET 2: I'm TOTES bummed. The MPAA said I'm too violent to give me an R rating.

AMC: What?! That's completely absurd!

HATCHET 2: Yeah, it's a real son-of-a-bitch move by them.

AMC: To F with them. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to put you on our screens anyway. After all, we LOVE your older brother Hatchet 1.

HATCHET 2: Oh, word! That's completely rad of you, AMC. Thank you so much! You're the best.

AMC: Sike!

Aaaaaaaaand...scene.



That's basically what happened last week to Adam Green's [director of FROZEN, SPIRAL, and HATCHET] sequel. AMC was cool enough to show an unrated horror movie, then suddenly turned into giant Were-pussies and pulled it because it 'didn't perform'.

AMC clearly about faced because of all the controversy between Green and the outrageous organization that is the MPAA. To say it was because of it's low box office take is insulting and ridiculous. A) what sort of performance were you expecting from a completely unadvertised sequel [to perhaps an even less known original] whose biggest star is Candyman*? And B) if you pull movies because of their poor box office performance, why is Case 39**# still playing at the AMC CityWalk?

Mind bottling side note - HATCHET 1 had problems getting this poster approved:



Final note - HATCHET 2 has this chick in it. Soooo hot. Want to touch the heiny. Aaaawoooo!


*Apologies to Candyman. Please don't gut me with your hook.

**Apologies to Christian Alvart. ANTIBODIES is flippin' awesome.

#Kill yourself, Renee Zellwegger. You're useless and you ruined APPALOOSA.