Tuesday, November 16, 2010

YOUTUBE COMMENTS EXTRAVAGANZA


Fact: 95% of all comments on the interweb are written by clinically retarded humans. The level of stupidity carefully applied to each is mind numbing. 999 out of 1,000 posts are written in the wrong tense, have sparingly used punctuation, and a plethora of ill placed LOL's and smiley faces. In most cases, commenter's SHIFT keys could be removed with zero consequence. Even beyond these grammatical issues, translating what the commenter is actually trying to say is usually perplexing to the point of madness. It's heartbreaking to see just how dumb we truly have become.

YouTube is the goddamn treasure trove of amazing comments. You will never find a dumber group of people. Ever. You could be in a room filled with 100 stroke patients and the conversation would be more eloquent than what you'll find on YouTube. IDIOCRACY didn't go far enough with how stupid people are going to be.

I went through the comments for a few horror movie trailers and picked out some gems for you all. Trust me, there are plenty more, so I highly recommend sifting through them yourself. First up:

THE GRUDGE
Spyhunter3391 has an envious ability. Dude can sleep and watch a movie at the same time:
Spyhunter3391
4 months ago

This movie was okay... i didn't think it was scary all though..
I slept through the whole movie it wasn't that scary.


PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
This is a two parter. It's like an angry I AM SAM (TheFrostbird) conversing with SLING BLADE (loxy777):
TheFrostbird
1 week ago @loxy777

Im not that kind of person who do not grant a little victory to anybody, but if u had looked at my comment a bit more attentively u would have seen that i wrote: I didnt know that Paranormal Activities really exist..., okay? I DIDNT know when i looked the movie. Of course this movie is not based on a true story, but there were many similar cases with PnA in the real world.

But thx that u wanted to *illuminate* me and i know u just meant it good ;)

loxy777
1 week ago @TheFrostbird

kool... glad u accept dere exis JIn.. search bou them... dey r beings of another dimension... dey r cool.. n i like da way u talk , ! :D

HIGH TENSION
Mortimer2020 watches horror movies like HIGH TENSION not only for the blood and scares, but also...for the ladies:
mortimer2020
6 months ago
i liked this movie...but the end confused me. how did she kill that guy when the guy (i guess) is her? and if the guy is her, how did she kill him but she ended up being alive?....shes pretty good looking tho



PANDORUM
You win a prize if you can translate what Wowjbeowulf is expounding about:
WOWJBEOWULF
3 months ago

Pandorum, this movie was so unwanted at the box office, the director should clone himself without memory so he can beat himself up and then try to sell the resulting movie. Yet another horror movie gone bad, we can only wonder how many movies were lost to time, because the only one with a copy was the director who loved his own work.



SORORITY ROW
I never saw this, but tehFluffie isn't a fan. And if tehFluffie ain't on board, tehn Matt Mowrer ain't on board:
tehFluffie
2 days ago

The ending didn't make any sence , And when someone died they didn't act very bothered which is down to terrible acting!

BONUS:

I know this isn't necessarily a horror movie, but I felt the following comment on BATTLE: LOS ANGELES was a necessity for this post:
usmceflips
1 day ago

why does everyone mentiones skyline with this movie?skyline camed out and its not in theaters and torrents wtf?
this movie will be best faggets

Indeed, faggets. Indeed.

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